Of Thunderstorms and Stone Giants
by Lotuscandle
Summary: A moment of Kili's and Fili's childhood. Kili can't sleep... (NO SLASH! one and only time I'll touch the beard-topic...) Sequel: Now he knew they were real. (STILL NO SLASH!)
1. Chapter 1

**I usually do not write author's notes, I find them tiring.**

**This one time I do:**

**There will probably be many mistakes, I apologize. The reason apart from English not being my mother tongue is, that I dedicate this fanfic to my beloved beta-reader, and so I uploaded before I let her check, as a surprise.**

_**I hope this makes you smile despite the hard and demotivating times you face now.**_

_**Thank you for everything, you will make it and you are a great person. I admire you, my dear friend.**_

**Now on with the story...**

* * *

»Fili? Are you awake?«

Now he was. Before his brother had clumsily climbed up the ladder into Fili's bed, he had been fast asleep.

A thunderstorm was shaking the whole house, and the lightning was white and bright and strong, it illuminated the room despite the curtains, painting the walls with scary faces.

Without a word, Fili pulled his brother under the covers and made sure he was tucked in.

Kili pressed his face against his brother's shoulder, sighing softly. He twitched and tensed with each rumbling thunder, his hands gripping Fili's shirt.

Sighing, Fili started to rub the back of his shivering brother. He made a mental note to kick Bofur's ass next time he saw him. Since he had told them about the stone giants and their thunder battles, Kili had started to fear thunderstorms.

No matter how often he had told the young boy that it was just a legend, that there was no such thing as stone giants, Kili could not defeat his fear.

»Don't be scared, Kili. There are no stone giants, Bofur just wanted to scare you.« and after a low chuckle, he added: »And if there were, do you really think I'd let them hurt you?«

Kili seemed to think about this, he tilted his head a little bit, dark eyes trying to make out the face of his brother in the darkness.

»Well... they are giants and you are just a dwarf. And they will crush you... they are stronger than you.«

»No way. I'd take your hand, and we'd run. We're fast and we can hide.«

»What if I fall?«

»You won't, I'll hold on to you, and I won't let you fall.«

»Or being crushed?«

»No way.«

For a while there was silence, and even the storm seemed to calm down after hearing that it the boy it so desperately tried to scare was protected by a mighty and determined older brother.

Feeling the warm, smaller body next to him made Fili sleepy again. Not because he felt exhausted, but because he felt calm and comfortable. Kili was always warm, his hands, his smile, his skin. Fili easily got cold, which was one of the reasons he always wore furry coats and thick gloves.

The other reason was: He liked the look.

Fili had almost drifted back to sleep, when he felt a small hand tug at the soft, few hairs on his chin.

»You've grown furry.«

»It's not fur, it's a beard.« Fili pouted, a little offended by his brothers remark.

He had just turned thirteen and was pretty late with growing a beard, so he was a little sensitive about this topic.

»Hm... will you look like uncle Thorin?«

No, he never would. Not with his blonde hair. Fili sighed, both his brother, mother and uncle had thick, dark hair. Why was he cursed with this... elvish mess on his head and soon in his face?

»I hope so.«

Kili shook his head and hugged him tight, closing his eyes. »I don't want to look like him. He's always grumpy... I want to look like you when I'm grown up. I want blonde hair.«

»Why?«

»Because it's pretty and special.«

Simple as that. For Kili, things were always that simple, he did not invest time or thoughts to things, he just accepted.

Fili smiled and held his brother a little closer while the boy fell asleep.

Yes, he would always take care of him and he would never ever let a stone giant or a thunderstorm or the difference of their hair color get between them.

Never.


	2. Chapter 2

Kili was shaking. Not just shaking, it was as if an earthquake was raging inside his limbs, not dying down. Looking down at his hands, he could only see them blurry, as if he was looking through a fine layer of fog or a thick wall of ice.

He did not want to lie down on the sandy floor, felt uncomfortable leaning against the stone wall behind him.

He had just witnessed stone was not as lifeless as he had always thought it was. Who knew if this innocent looking cave was not actually the stomach or inner ear or mouth of a stone giant? How was he supposed to sleep on a floor that could, for all they knew, just open up and swallow them any second?

How could the others sleep, as if nothing had happened?

How could Fili just lay down and close his eyes, snoring off almost in an instant?

Watching his brother sleep peacefully next to him made his insides clench with rage. Hot, burning rage at seeing him so carefree, sleeping, for Durin's sake!

How much time had passed, since they had lied down? How long since the mountain had burst below their feet, pulling them apart?

Kili felt his heart hammering against his chest. He could not get rid of the images torturing him. The quickly widening gap, Fili's hand... a hand that had let go of him. Hadn't his oh-so-mighty brother once promised him to protect him from every evil they might encounter? Had he not told him there was no such thing as stone giants?

As a child, he had been scared of something he could never quite picture. He knew they were big and made from stone, hence the name... but other than that, he had not known how to imagine them. Fili had tried his best to keep him from thinking too much about them, to take away his fears.

He had even started to paint small, round rocks with all sorts of silly and ugly faces, showing him how ridiculous they looked, how small they actually were, and how easy it was to roll them down the hill and sink them in the lake.

It had been nothing like that.

The enormous, horrible creatures had not even noticed the tiny dwarfs clinging to their knees, had not heard them scream in panic, not paid attention to their fight against death. They had not noticed what had happened, how the two brothers were being separated.

Kili was angry at them, too. Angry for being there, for being so big and stony and frightening. He was angry at Thorin for leading them through the mountains on such a dangerous route, angry at the stupid rain that had made the trail and their hands so slippery, angry at himself...

Maybe that was the true reason. He was angry at himself. So angry...

Biting his lip to keep the annoying sob of rage, frustration and built-up pressure deep inside, he wiped at his cold face. When the foggy ice was gone, he could see his hands clearly. Shaking, trembling, balled into angry fists.

Here he was, scared beyond sanity. Not only because he just found out how real stone giants actually were... but because he had learned a thing or two about his older brother:

One: he very obviously did not care for keeping promises. He had not held on tight to his younger brother as he had promised, nor had he ran away and saved him. Let alone all the nonsense about how stone giants were just legends and stories. Quite the contrary, they were very real!

Second: he very, absolutely and totally did not care for Kili's wellbeing. After they had settled down in the cave, he had not once looked at him or asked him how he was, if he was injured, sick, cold. He had just pulled up his hood and curled up on the floor, closing his eyes, sleeping immediately.

And third: he had almost died.

Kili shook his head and buried his face in the crook of his arm, hugging himself tightly. Whenever they had played as kids, whenever they had told each other stories or had been training and play-fighting, Fili would always be the hero. It was some kind of unwritten law, a simple rule: Fili would save him. Fili would kill the orc general while his brother was almost dead from countless wounds of painted and stabbed-at tree-orcs and rock-goblins. Fili would tend to bloody knees and cut fingers. Fili would make up lies and excuses to their mother and Thorin to safe them from trouble, boring tasks in the house and the occasional inconvenience of being grounded for doing something stupid.

Fili would always save him. And the other unspoken truth... Fili was invincible.

The anger left his tense, trembling body, there was a very strange mixture of fear, sorrow and regret replacing it. And a sparkle of relief, of gratefulness.

They were both safe, they had survived. Alive and healthy. Or... Kili sniffed quietly. Was Fili really alright? He had not asked him if he was injured... surely, being thrown off a stone giant's knee, falling onto another dwarf, hitting a solid rock was painful? Fili was always cold, even when others started to undress because they felt warm, his big brother would not take off his warm clothes. He was always cold, and the rain had made all of them clammy and chilly. Was he freezing now?

»Are you alright?«

The soft, worried words made him jump and he stared at his brother's blue eyes for a moment. He was looking at him, and somehow he looked tired.

»Sure... just a bit cold.«

Fili smiled and inched a bit closer, pulling Kili under the thin blanket Bofur had given him. He made sure Kili was tucked in neatly before he laid down and closed his eyes again.

Kili closed his eyes, too, but not because of exhaustion. He was fed up with the stupid sheen of fog clouding his eyes and wetting his lashes.

He lay awake for a while, before his body finally allowed him to sleep a bit. Right before he was claimed by black and white dreams of screeching rocks and smashed bones, he made a promise to himself.

Since Fili was as not-invincible as he was, and obviously was not fit for fighting stone giants on his own, he would start to look out a bit more for the blonde one from now on.

Kili, too, could be a hero.


End file.
